1) Pinpoint actions needed to address gaps between current and desired culture, engagement and employee confidence in Merck/MSD’s future.

Original translation: 准确定位填补当前和目标文化之间的差距所需的行动、敬业度以及员工对默克/默沙东未来的信任度。

Revised translation: 准确定位所需行动,以填补当前和目标文化、敬业度以及员工对默克/默沙东未来的信任度之间的差距。

Commend: 理解错误,修饰词混乱。

2) As Merck transforms, we need to hear from you about how we’re doing in regard to culture and strategy.

Original translation: 随着默克的转型,我们需要倾听您的心声,确知我们应如何对待文化和发展战略。

Revised translation: 随着默克的转型,我们需要了解您对于我们在文化和发展战略方面的看法。

Commend: 对于“how we are doing in regard…”理解错误。

Read Also: Translation of Law Term: As Of

3) Risk factors for cardiovascular disease include high blood pressure, high cholesterol, smoking, obesity, diabetes, poor diet, and lack of physical activity.

Original Translation:心血管疾病的风险因素包括高血压、高胆固醇、抽烟、肥胖、糖尿病、营养不良以及缺乏体育锻炼。

Revised translation: 心血管疾病的风险因素包括高血压、高胆固醇、抽烟、肥胖、糖尿病、不良的饮食习惯以及缺乏体育锻炼。

Commend: “poor diet”并非“营养不良”而是“不良的饮食习惯”

4) High blood pressure is associated with coronary heart disease including angina and acute myocardial infarction (commonly called heart attack) as well as stroke.

Original Translation:高血压通常帶有冠心病,包括心绞痛和急性心肌梗塞(通常称为心脏病发作)以及中风。

Revised translation: 高血压通常与冠心病有关,包括心绞痛和急性心肌梗塞(通常称为心脏病发作)以及中风。

Commend: 对于“associated with”理解错误。