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Humorous stories

Let’s see some English humorous stories…
  1. A man went to see his doctor one day because he was suffering from pains in his stomach. After the doctor had examined him carefully, he said to him, “well, there’s nothing really wrong with you, I’m glad to say. Your only trouble is that you worry too much. Do you know, I had a man with the same trouble as you in here a few weeks ago, and I gave him the same advice as I’m going to give you? He was worried because he couldn’t pay his tailor’s bills. I told him not to worry his head about the bills any more. He followed my advice and when he came to see me again two days ago, he told me that he now felt quite all right again.” Yes, I know all about that,” answered the patient sadly. “You see, I’m that man’s tailor.”
  2. One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What’s the meaning of the word ‘Drunk’, dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.”” But, dad," the boy said,” There’s only ONE policeman!"
  3. The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest’s plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
  4. Mrs. Black was eighty, but she had a small car, and she always drove to the shops in it on Saturday and bought her food. She did not drive fast because she was old, but she drove well and online casino never hit anything. Sometimes her grandchildren said to her,” Please don’t drive your car, Grandmother. We can take you to the shops." But she always said,”No, I like driving. I began to drive fifty years ago, and I’m not going to stop now." Last Saturday she stopped her car at the traffic lights because they were red, and then she couldn’t start the car again. The lights were green, then yellow, then red, then green again, but her car did not start.
A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. “Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor. "You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman. "What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific." The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, “Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even that hurts", she cried. The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, "You have a broken finger."

Words translated by CCJK

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